chinkrat's Journal

bio, first attempt
so here is my last ditch effort at social integration. i am fundamentally opposed to computers, and the people who depend on them for all interpersonal interaction. However, i moved here over a year ago and only "know" a few people, most of whom i live with. i dont want any intimate cyberelationships, i just want some objective input, some validation from someone im not fucking. im antisocial, i smoke an obscene amount of weed, and i usually dont even show up for my swimming class. i go to foothill, technically. i dont have a car. i dont get along with non-smokers. i have a thing for gamers. my last job was as a personal escort, which lasted about two days, but yielded $330. i am incapable of settling. i will never be a normal, productive member of society. im not a terribly nice person. maybe someone can tell me why, despite my leisurely and hedonistic existence, i am forever frustrated with the state of the world, and especially this country. in any given situation, i constantly wonder if my actions are... "human" enough? does that even make sense? why do words lose all meaning if i think about them? how am i supposed to think? who decides? will i spend the rest of my life believing in my own power as the highest? is it possible that these blindly devoted assholes, these slaves of organized religion, are right? that faith is our species savior? am i going to burn for eternity? ah fuck it. as someone beautiful says, its better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven.

Current Mood: full
Current Music: voltaire

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